25 More Things HP Characters Will Never Say
by BadgerInMySoup
Summary: Just what the title says. Sequel to my last story, which got such great feedback, I had to do another!


Back by popular demand, 25 more things Harry Potter character will never say. If these go over well, I might start doing specific characters!

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**1)...''And that children is the story of how I riped memoires from innocent people, copied their stunts into my book, passed them off as my own and tried to off Harry Potter. Now who would like my autograph?'' Gildroy Lockheart looked around expectanty**

_2)"My Lord, we need-" Lucius and Macnair stopped in the doorway as Voldemort danced around the room holding a hairbrush to his lips. "I"m bring sexy back, them other wizards don't know how to act." "WTF" Macnair mouthed while Lucius shook his head. "Here we go again."_

**3)''Tell me something Professor.'' Parvati began in a mocking tone. ''If you can see the future why the hell didn't you tell me my best friend was gonna get hurt!! Stupid bitchy fraud!''**

_4)"Professor, what will we do now that Voldemort is back?" Harry asked aprehensively. "Well...I think we have to find the first memory 'cause that's the first clue. We'll put it in our pensive 'cause it's Tom's clues, Tom's clues. Then we'll sit down in our thinking chairs and think...think...thiiiiink."_

**5)''Yo, yo yo Harry my dawg, that potion is wa-hack.'' Snape said, dressed up in his best bling. ''Uh..I think you mean Whack.'' Harry corrected. ''10 points from da Gryff house for messing up my mojo!'' Snape snarled**

**6)''Hey.'' Ron asked suddently. ''What ever happend to Fluffy?'' Hagrid froze, a look of terror in his face. ''Shit, I forgot to feed him!! Eh, he's dead by now anyway. Who wants a hotdog?''**

**7)''OMG!'' Ernie yelled suddenly. ''Ever since Potter came to school, we lose a Defense Against the Dark Arts teach every year! I told you all he was evil!! PURE EVIL!'' **

**8)''And I told them...Buckbeack's a good Hippogriff, always keeps his feathers clean.'' cried Hagrid. ''That was your defense!! He keeps his feathers clean! What the bloody hell does that have to do with ANYTHING! Draco wasn't attacked by messy feathers, he was attacked by the bloody animal. No wonder you lost, you dumb oaf!'' Hermione yelled.**

**9)''My new years resoultion is to stop being a whiny bitch and be happy again! Forget Cedric and Harry, I've found my new love!'' screamed Cho, embracing her pillow, whom she calls, Hedric.**

**10)''I'm going to dress up as Harry Potter for Halloween!'' Draco exclaimed.**

**11)''Hahaha, I told them I wasn't loopy!! People do write out our lives..decide who we love and live with...it's called...FANFICTION!!'' screamed Luna. People just stare.**

**12)''If I'm supposed to be a true Gryffindor, then why the hell did the author make me the comic relief!!'' an enraged Neville complained. **

**13)''I like big..butts and I cannot lie. All you other wizards can't deny!'' Voldemort sang.**

**14)''I love to play with My Little Ponies! My Little Ponies, My Little Ponies, we'll never be apaaaaaaart.'' sang Ron. ''What's with him?'' Hermione wondered. ''Oh, I accidently slipped some Truth Serum into his pumpkin juice...oh wait a second here it is.'' Harry said, cheerfully.**

**15)''It's the Backyardigans!! And AUSTIN IS FINALLY ON!!''cheered Snape.**

**16)''Did you know, that in Hogwarts:A History, it clearly states-'' ''Hermione, we've heard every fact from that stupid book. Shut the bloody hell up.'' snapped Ron.**

**17)''Winky loves to work! Winky loves to serve Hogwarts. Winky hates mean old Mr. Crouch.'' Winky sang, her voice slurred from the 230th butterbeer of the evening.**

**18)''You know what we should do! We should write down every that's happened to us during school and publish it into one big book!! That way, the world will know all about me..Harry Potter!'' Harry exclaimed. ''Harry, darling, it's been done.'' Ginny said. ''...Oh'' **

**19)''Merry Christmas everyone!! I'm handing out presants this year!! And candy!! I love all you rascally kids!'' Flitch annoucned as he walked down the hall, arm and arm with each Weasley Twin.**

**20)''Professor Dumledore..how will we stop Voldemort?'' Harry asked. ''I haven't a clue. Let's put on our thinking caps!'' He does so (it's an old paperbag) and Harry backs away, scared.**

**21)''Does anyone else just wanna Avada Kedavra Dora the Explorer?'' Hermione wondered. The whole Great Hall nodded in agreement.**

**22)''Frosted Flakes are more then good...they're grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!'' sang Goyle quietly to himself.**

**23)''Hardcover books rule!'' Hermione said. ''Nerd.'' muttered Draco. ''They are perfect for hitting annoying people on the head.'' Hermione said, and did so. ''Ow.'' Draco cried.**

**24)''I hate being a werewolf.'' Remus complained. ''But why!? You're sooooo fluffy and cute!'' Sirius exclaimed. ''And you play fetch with the Snitch so well.'' James threw in.**

**25)''Harry Potter came to town, riding on a Firebolt. Stuck a feather in his want. And called it Voldemorts brother!''**

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And thats 25 more things HP characters will never say! Hope you enjoyed this one!


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